This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one Joshua Perkins who was born in Nevada on 20 July 1976 and passed away on 22 February 2010 at the age of 33.We will remember him forever.  


Thank you for stopping by Josh's Website. Before you go, please light a candle to keep his memory alive. Please come and visit periodically to say hello. If you have any memories or pictures to share, we would appreciate you sharing them here with us 

Joshua Lee Perkins was born on July 20, 1976, the fourth of 6 children. His stubborn streak already started before he was born since he was supposed to be born on July 4. We waited, and waited-and waited, until the Dr. finally told us that he wanted to go ahead and do something as he was getting tired of sitting at home on the week-ends waiting for my call. Josh was a happy baby, but continued to have a stubborn streak in him that he carried throughout his life. When he was two, he loved to climb on the coffee table, pushing aside the magazines I had so neatly displayed on top of it, knocking them to the floor before climbing up and proudly walking back and forth on the table. He was so insistent about this, and nothing I tried could stop him. With 3 other children to care for, I finally gave up and put the magazines away. Also, If he didn’t want to go somewhere with me, he would plant his feet on the ground and it took all my strength to get him to move. Throughout his life, his stubbornness both helped and hindered him. It helped him manage to graduate high school with a regular diploma despite the fact that he was diagnosed with a “learning disability” and his teachers wanted him to get a special education diploma. On top of that, he went on to complete his education at Motorcycle Mechanics Institute and graduated as a Harley Davidson Mechanic. His love of animals came early when I found him on the kitchen floor one day with a cricket in his mouth. He loved all kinds of animals and amazed me with his knowledge of the species and habitats of all types of animals. He particularly liked insects, and he especially liked to tease his sisters with them. He always felt that we all had a connection with the earth and need to protect it. He loved our vacations, and he looked forward to them all, particularly the trips to our cabin in the mountains. When he was old enough, he would go to the cabin with his friends as much as he could. He was a happy youth, always with a smile on his face and a good joke to tell. On our vacations, he always kept us laughing with his silly jokes. He loved our family holidays, although his dad likes to tell the story about the Halloween when Josh was 2 years old. His dad took the kids trick or treating, as he did every year, and when they arrived at one of the houses, someone was sitting in a chair dressed as a monster. Rex had Jeremy walking beside him and was carrying Justin in his arms. All of a sudden, the “monster” sitting in the chair stood up, and Josh took off running down the street as fast as he could go, with Rex in tow, still carrying Justin and dragging Jeremy along behind him until he caught up with Josh at the end of the block. As a teen-ager, Josh was a big teddy bear. He didn’t believe in violence and shocked himself one day when he became angry at his best friend and swung at him. He was very upset over the incident but I told him it was just hormones kicking in. Because of his non-violent philosophy, he was constantly picked on in school and he couldn’t get over how mean other kids could be. Josh always had a love of motorcycles that began at a young age. When the other boys wanted to play with cars, Josh always wanted to play with motorcycles. Being a nurse in the emergency room, I always tried to steer him away from motorcycles, but he never listened to me. He worked as a Harley Davidson mechanic for several years, but was in a motorcycle accident while on his way to work one day and wasn’t able to return to work for several months. During that time, he lived with his brother, Justin, who was experiencing problems of his own. Justin had been visiting several of his friends one evening 8 years before and, because he was feeling ill, declined their invitation to stay the night. When he went back to their house the following afternoon, he found the door of the house partially open, and when he walked in, he found all four of his friends bound and shot execution style. Justin never recovered from that incident and he had to spend the next 8 years reliving it in the courtroom through numerous trials, until the perpetrator was sent to death row for good. Unfortunately, this took its toll on Justin, he had constant nightmares and flashbacks and began taking solace in alcohol. During the time Josh was staying with Justin, he became well aware of Justin’s struggles and on November 1, 2006, after an evening out together with some friends, Justin said good night, went to his room and shot himself in the head. Josh heard the gunshot, ran into his room and found his brother. Now it was Josh’s turn to experience the nightmares and the horror of finding his brother-thinking that, in some way, he could have/should have saved him. After Justin’s death, Josh moved to NC and stayed with us. He tried to go back to work at Harley Davidson and had other jobs, which didn’t work out for him. When he began working at Lowes as an assembler, he seemed to be doing much better. The job seemed to give him a sense of purpose in his life and he developed close relationships with several employees as well as other friends outside of the workplace, and he began seeing a therapist. Things seemed to be turning around for him-at least on the surface, but underneath Josh was still fighting with the demons that were haunting him since his brothers’ death, and he finally lost that fight on February 22, 2010. We miss him so much but understand that he is now at peace and in a happier place where we can someday be with him.


""You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all he's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him only that he is gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

David Harkins

 Gentle Boy

This one is for a Gentle Boy who wrestles with his pain,
his easy bruising tender heart,
and ever active brain.
He feels more than others do, but then he tries to hide,
with laughter and bravado, the gentle boy inside,
with wit and style and artifice, his secrets kept so well.
Who dreams the brave facade you see conceals some
private hell?

Meanwhile, the brutes live on and on, the unexplained lives,
the low, the stupid and the cruel, the sluggish dolt thrives,
to fill the world with empty talk and greed and hate and
noise to breed, carouse and make life hell, for all the Gentle
Boys.

Some Gentle Boys grow heartsick and tired of this charade,
they blow themselves right off the earth, or fight, then fail,
then fade.
If you should love a Gentle Boy, there's little you can do, if
he decides his time has come, he'll live the earth and you.
He cannot see that if he goes,
you'll never fill that space,
you'll spend your whole life searching for that laugh, that kiss, that
face.
How can the gentle boy not know?

You loved him beyond death,
you'd help him anyway you could, unto your dying breath.

Someday, when Justice Reigns on earth,
we all may greet with Joy, a world where it won't hurt so much
to be........................................A Gentle Boy.

-Mary Wilkins-

Do Not Weep For Me

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/grave.php

As Long

As long as I can dream
As long as I can think
As long as I have a memory,
I will love you.

As long as I have a heart to feel
A soul stirring within me
An imagination to hold you,
I will love you.

As long as there is time
As long as there is love
As long as I have a breath to speak your name,
I will love you.

Author Unknown

 Be Still

By Claire Moore

Be still, my heart, when jeans and sneakers pass by me;
Be still, my tears, which come so easily;
Be still, my longing to hear his voice and see his smile-
Oh, how I miss his smile.

Be still, the memories which race around in my brain and ease the pain
And be still, the pain which is ever thereat first sharp but now more dull;
Be still, my sorrow, for he is at peace-So much more than I.

Be still, my loneliness for him, to touch him again, gangling and thin;
Be still, the wish for others to cry with me as they did at first, so
I would know they still miss him as much as I;

But life goes on, they say, And so must I
Be very still, the need to ask, "Why did he have to die?"
Be still, the anger when they say someone else wanted him;
No one could want him more than I.

Be still, my heart so you can remember that you still have life and
love around you, that only one small part is gone.
Be still, my grieving for that one small part.

Yet grieve I must; for the books say I must go through it and not
around it.
Be still, the bargains I made and the games I played (to have him
back and pretend it was a mistake), as they are dangerous and to no avail

Be happy, heart, that we had him for awhile,
Be strong, my pride, That I am slowly healing and loving and feeling.
He died on the first day of summer.
Summer's heat came and went,

Fall's colors came and went,
Winter's snow came and went,
and now spring has come again.
It seems the world is going on; and so should I.

I am lucky to have borne you;
I am richer for having shared your dreams;
I am sadder but stronger for having lost you.
I will always love you.....Good-bye.

Please visit Josh's brother Justin's Website at  www.justin-perkins@memory-of.com

Four Candles For You

The first candle represents our grief.
The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

This second candle represents our courage.
To confront our sorrow,
To comfort each other,
To change our lives.

This third candle we light in your memory.
For the times we laughed,
The times we cried,
The times we were angry with each other,
The silly things you did,
The caring and joy you gave us.

This fourth candle we light for our love.
We light this candle that your light will always shine.
As we enter this holiday season and share this night of remembrance
with our family and friends.

We cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you.
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to each of us.

We love you.
We remember you.

(author unknown)